Forks.

We all go through life changing situations, decisions, do's and don'ts. The choices that I have to make not to mention the ones that I've already made, are life changing ones. I'm at the end of this road that I've taken thus far and it has reached its dead end. It's time for me to take the fork in the road that was presented to me and see where it leads.

Even though this new and exciting road ahead has presented itself, a blast from the past has done the same. Now, not only do I have one fork, but two. Can or will these roads meet up with each other eventually? My blast from the past is a long time friend, a first love, a light at the end of the tunnel. But as I said before, there's a fork in the road.

Decisions, decisions.

Am I greedy if I say I want both?

-SHRUG-

Some might consider me gluttonous. I, for the first time in my life, am going to make a selfish decision. I'm going to take my own road and create my own path to the other. This is going to be one fantastic journey.

Break. Snap. Crack.

This week has been an interesting one, that's for sure. The things that have been going on are just too ridiculous to even rehash. The bullshit that comes with trying to please everyone constantly, has got me on edge. The stress of moving has made everyone go at each others throats. People being two-faced. This whole situation has become a disaster and I'm not sure if I even want to be a part of it anymore. The people that are going on this voyage have no idea what they're getting themselves into and they're all going blind.

I have reached my limit. The choice I made to switch tracks has already cost me too much.

I'm done.

I never thanked the people who opened my mind.

Once again, I'm starting fresh. Out with the old, in with the new, as they say. But who arethey anyway? I've had quite a few of these blog things, but I've never really stuck with them. I wonder if that's one of those subconscious things telling me I can't commit. Forrest Gump said it best. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." That statement has been so true for me and my life it's almost ridiculous. The ups and downs that I've had, even in the past few weeks, have been enough to drive someone over the edge.

First off, I just want to say that everything I've gone through has been a growing experience. Some things were harder than others... but I learned from everything. I recently just lost someone close to me... or rather, I thought was close to me. It's better now, if I get it off of my chest. I never was good at that, when going through things initially... I always have to put expressions on hold. I'm not very good with venting and coping at the same time... multi-tasking isn't my forte.

To make a long story short[er] (or try my best anyway), a man that I was in love with for over four years, was nothing but a liar and a cheat. How out of the ordinary is that? [/Sarcasm] Men are pigs, all of us women know this. Shit, even men know it. They take pride in it. What killed me was, this particular man, claimed to be a knight in shining armor. But alas, he was nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing. He lied to me about who he was, what he was... four years -- a lie. I'm over it now, but it's definitely something that I need to remember. I can't just put it in the back of my mind and pretend it never happened. No -- that wouldn't be logical. I have to keep my mind open and aware.

Alls well that ends well, though. Another recent event was the fact that a person who I've known ever since I was sixteen, but haven't really talked to for a few years, finally came back into my life, full force. A door closed, a window opened. It's funny how things work out for the better.

All in all, with everything that's happened.... I consider myself lucky.